So here it's been a few weeks and I have been cracking out the movies. I have been watching some old some new and some good and some shit. I watch a lot of "B" rated horror movies since I want to one day get the balls to do it myself. I really should finish the movie and short story I have started, but as you know I am lazy as shit. So instead I watch movies and dream about things I could be doing if I actually tried. Here are some of the flicks I have watched in the past few weeks:
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Chloe – This movie was not what I had expected. Don’t get me wrong I really enjoyed it. There is a tone of nudity and erotic descriptions on situations. I thought it was going to be a chick flick, but that it would have that thriller aspect to make it interesting enough to keep me from falling asleep. IT’S PERFECT! I think my wife was taking back by the amount of breast going on, but all in all it was a good concept and well executed. I say watch it for sure.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chloe_%28film%29
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhYiQNmI1VI
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Dark Lurking – This is just your normal alien outbreak movie. It’s alright, but if you never see it you wont miss out. Just watch Alien.
Wiki: Does not have one.
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r2sEgTEv38
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Against The Dark – OK so check this, “In a post-apocalyptic world, destroyed by a disease, which may or may not turn people into some kind of vampires or zombies.” Do I have you so far? Now add in the fact that the leader of the vampire killing squad is Steven Seagal? BOOYA! Shut up and watch it. It’s one of the good kinda terrible.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Against_the_dark
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXFMcgEfp-k
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The Reeds – This one was kinda dumb. There are still parts I don’t get. Some boaters get lost and there’s “something” in the reeds of the swamp coming for them. As you watch it it seems like it’s a good concept and has mass potential. In the end I felt let down. It was alright enough to keep me almost interested but not satisfied.
Wiki: Does not have one.
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz1PTJWehME
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The Dunwich Horror – Stupid. Do not watch.
Wiki: None
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrqudBk4mgU
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Balls Out: Gary the Tennis Coach – This was freaking hilarious! Seann William Scott with handle bars. Enough said. You will laugh until you pee, I swear. It’s like if Stifler became a creepy washed up tennis pro. Some of the moments are so awkward, but so funny!
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balls_Out:_Gary_the_Tennis_Coach
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKy_bvHa1wU
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Triangle – This movie was a complete mind F**K! And I loved it. It’s classified as a horror flick but it’s not. The cover would make you think it’s a slasher.. It’s not. What it is a ride that is sure to leave you scratching your head. I’m not going to give you anymore than that. Check it out and get ready to get dizzy.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Triangle_%28film%29
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65JP4wVVCOQ
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Shaun Of the Dead – I know this came out in 2004, but I never got around to watching it. I started watching it last month and got so bored I turned it off. I have had a lot of people tell me to watch it, “you have to get through the dry beginning”. So I did and I actually enjoyed it. I think that there is a lot more that they could have done with it. Horror comedies are great, and this was worth a watch.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaun_of_the_Dead
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfBewQPFdKE
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Jackass: The Lost Tapes – Not a lot I can say. If you have seen Jackass before then you know what you are in for. Some people can’t watch this, I find it hilarious!
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackass_%28TV_series%29
Trailer: There isn’t a trailer, but if you search it you can watch different scenes.
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Hot Tub Time Machine – This is one of the funniest movies I have seen in some time. It’s silly and unexplainable, but super awesome. I’m a huge John Cusack fan so I might be slightly biased but screw you...lol. Plus there is sooo many Mötley Crüe references you can’t help but bang your head and want to party hard!
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_Tub_Time_Machine
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DCFPS58KYY
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The Wolfman – The previews got me interested in this one. I love werewolf movies (minus Twilight, hoping I never see it). Then I started watching it and it’s bitchin’! There is gore and limbs flying everywhere. I didn’t think it would be as graphic as it was, but I love me some gore. The story line was really good... I liked the film.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wolfman_%282010_film%29
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JB1NY2xut8
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Wrong Turn 2: Dead End – It was good, not as good as the first one, but tolerable. As usual with sequels they went for more blood, gore, violence and I’ll say thank you. But the story was meh. It’s the same as the first one... mutant hillbillies chasing down pretty young people. The only thing that really put it over the top for me was Henry Rollins in army fatigues slaying mutants!
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wrong_Turn_2
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMVF3bEu3e8
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Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead – Umm... is the horse dead? No? Ok keep beating it. I don’t get why the hillbillies got smarter with every movie. They are supposed to be stupid inbred, mutated freaks. But in this one there is elaborate “saw” type traps in the woods. **Spoiler alert ** At the end they leave it open for another film. So let me get this straight. There has been what 50 or so deaths in this same area and the government hasn’t gone in and bull dozed this forest and every freak in it? I think if they make another one that’s what it should be. Have the army go in to clean up the hazardous waste, a couple people get killed but these super elaborate traps and then all hell breaks loose. They napalm the area and then pave it over, make it a Wal-Mart and see t-shirts with “Three-finger’s” face on them at discount prices. THEN at the end have a freak come in and start killing people with a bow and arrow... roll credits.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wrong_Turn_3:_Left_for_Dead
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FictxrM5q7c
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The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard – I really had high hopes for this. I am a big fan of Jeremy Piven’s work in Entourage. There are some laughs but I could have done without seeing this. Kathryn Hahn is the best part of this movie. I laughed every scene she was in. The rest... boo.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Goods
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDXuLtz58Gs
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A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010) – From the get go when I heard about this film I was not happy. Why? The absence of Robert Englund that’s why. He IS Freddy Krueger. He has been for years, and will always be that character. Instead they got Jackie Earle Haley. No thank you, I would like to return this. I asked for Freddy and got a shitty Rorschach. I get it they wanted to take Craven’s film and “make it scarier”. But then they didn’t consult him on anything and in turn he said the film was shit. Agreed Wes, agreed. The only part that got me excited was the last 10 seconds of the film. Platinum Dunes raped the Friday series and then found it’s next victim. That makes them serial classic movie rapist, and I am sad.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Nightmare_on_Elm_Street_%282010_film%29
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0i6V22chTM
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Borderland – This one is from 2007 and somehow snuck by me. It’s wild and it has Sean Astin in it. Check this one out.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderland_%28film%29
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb1hO0qkeKU
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Dark Island – Not good. There is like a mist monster thing like on Lost. And there is an island... like lost... And it sucks like lost... lol.
Wiki: None
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZZiDLCMu0c
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P2 – This was pretty kool. Great concept and very well done. I’m not going to blow any details, just check it out.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P2_%28film%29
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYEgrQ8kdmw
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Reykjavik: Whale Watching Massacre – Sooo... The reason I checked this one out was because it was described as “Texas Chainsaw Massacre on a boat”. IT’S NOT. Check it out if you want... but you have been warned.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reykjavik_Whale_Watching_Massacre
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQgNRCHfgMk
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Severance – This is horror comedy. It’s got some good gore and a couple laughs. I thought it was pretty good. As a side note there was a 17 year old murdered by 3 other guys after watching one of the scenes from the movie. They did it as it is seen in the movie, they were all convicted of the murder last year. Stoopid people man.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Severance_%28film%29
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVwBVm7yVE4
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Youth in Revolt – Michael Cera is the freakin’ man. Enough said. He seems to do a lot of odd comedies and totally pulls it off. His alter-ego in this mad me laugh like a mad man. Check it out.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Youth_in_Revolt_%28film%29
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbJyaO97QPY
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She’s Out Of My League – As much as I like Jay Baruchel, I actually fell asleep watching this one. It was pretty funny, but not in the same leagues as some of his other flicks: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, Tropic Thunder, or Knocked up.
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She%27s_Out_of_My_League
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWJJGXvL7PM
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So that's what I have been up to the past couple weeks. I'm going to start watching some TV shows.. I might rate them, not sure. I'm going to try to finish The Soprano's and going to start True Blood. Enjoy.
~ Dog
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