10-15 minutes into it all hope started to sink. To me it seemed that there was a lot of ideas that ended up getting thrown together. To me, and maybe I missed it, but there wasn't really a story. I get that there is 6 mini stories (5 being told inside 1), but it just didn't work for me. I had to go through and read with wiki page and imdb just to figure out what the hell I watched. Here's a run down, careful spoilers:
Tape 56/Main Story Arc - This is the main movie story line. A group of douchebag thugs are hired by some unknown person to break into a house and steal a VHS tape. While in the house they find several tapes and a "dead body". For whatever reason they watch a couple of the tapes in the house and are killed off one by one, or we are lead to believe. I was cheering when these dudes were getting OFF'd cuz they were complete scumbags. But at the same time, there was nothing scary about it. Just folks disappearing during the other story tapes.
Amateur Night - This is our first actual story played out by tape. Three dudes are getting ready to "bro down", pic up some ladies and video tape themselves having sex with them. They meet a couple normal girls and one tweaker. Even drunk you would pick up on how weird this girl was and walked the fuck away. I don't care what anyone says. She keeps whispering "I like you.." to the main character. But not like "let's bang", like, "I wanna see what your organs taste like". No aside from the asshole that keeps laughing like a jackass the whole clip, the really annoying thing is that the camera is in the main characters glasses, and he keeps going in and out of the bathroom. Had he not and all the shit that ended up happening be shown, this would have been one sick ass piece. But I found the going in and out of the bathroom while the chick went beast mode on the guys in the room annoying. If he had tried to fight her off, or coward in the corner watching it all go down, would have made it better. This was def one of the better clips. I thought the chick was a gargoyle, but after reading I guess she was a succubus, which is a killer concept. I would love to see this fleshed out into a longer story. Oh, also, if the main guy had said "i like you too" and let the beast blow him in the stairwell would he have survived?
Second Honeymoon - This one was a turd. Here's why. It starts out with a couple on vacation. We know nothing about them just BAM here's a couple. They go and get a fortune read from a machine and then end up in a shady motel/hotel. A girl knocks at the door asking for a ride. The guy is totally freaked out by this guy, doesn't want to call the cops, and they go about their business. Then the cam turns on in the middle of the night and this mask person guides a switchblade on the sleeping girls body. That is fucking scary. The unknown. The next night it starts the same, someone grabs the cam, this time stabs the dude in the throat. Turns out the be the girls lesbian lover. They girls drive off.. end of story. What? Where the fuck is the context in that? Where they unhappy? Where did this chick come from? I dunno. Like I said I think it's the write in me that wants to know more. It was kinda shocking to see buddy get shanked though.
Tuesday the 17th - Another turd. A girl brings a bunch of her friends to her home town lake as bait for Jason Voorhees wanna be killer. Who can't be caught on tape. She even set traps for him that has no effect and she ends up dead. Seriously, don't know what to say about this one. I would say cut it to flesh out the other ones more.
The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger - This one was my favorite. Although I feel the trailer made it out scarier than it turned out to be. But this one had/has the best chance at becoming something more I think. But with that, this one left me with the most questions. Maybe thats why I want more of it. What are the little kids? Where is the guy? She thinks he is in Michigan but it takes him like 5-10 seconds to get into her apt. What is the fetus thing he pulls out of her? How many has she had already? Whats with the tracking chips in the girls? How many girls does he do this with? Honestly I want more of this one.. lol.
10/31/98 - This is the last one and again I felt it was scarier in the trailer. I liked the delivery, but thought there is no way it could happen. You show up at a Halloween party with your buddies. The place is empty. NO ONE, is going to assume its a haunted attraction and go through the place. EVERYONE is going to say "fuck this, lets go to the bar!" or start looking for another house that's having a bash. With that said, lets say you do continue on. The story was good. Not as spooky as I thought it would be with the arms coming out and so on. I was hoping for it to be a little more crazy. But the ending was sweet. Still it leaves you wondering who was the girl? What were the guys in the attic doing? Sending her back to hell? Who knows.
All in all after it was all said and done Sis and I simply looked at each other and said "what the hell?". It's too bad I was really pulling for this flick. And it might just be me. It has a 79% rating on Rotten Tomatoes right now.
I also read Dave Pace's review on Fangoria and although he enjoyed it more than I, he saw some of the same issues as I did. How did these tapes all come to be. How did they go from the devices to a VHS tape, to this creepy guys house? I guess it's not the point. Give it a watch. If you sit in the dark and watch it, it is still pretty creepy. Enjoy!
~Dog
Links:
- V/H/S
- CreepShow
- Tales from the Darkside: The Movie
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